Mentorship

I've been in the Army for nearly four years, which means, due to my impeccable attendance record, I have reached the stage of my career at which I am supposed to provide guidance to new Lieutenants.

Well, back that up. Other LTs also provide guidance to new LTs, but that is called peer pressure, not mentoring, and it frequently results in throwing up and blackouts.

My 3.7 years of experience are being called upon to provide direction for a newly commissioned LT assigned to my unit. My advice:

How to not completely fail as an 2LT (or, how to not be in the .5% that fail to be promoted to CPT):

1. If you think it is a good idea and your Platoon Sergeant thinks it is a bad idea, do the common sense check - ask a specialist. If the specialist agrees with the Platoon Sergeant, you were wrong. If the specialist agrees with you, you were definitely wrong and quite possibly were about to do something illegal.

2. Do not use the term hoo-ah to end sentences when looking for approval or affirmation from soldiers. They know you aren't "hoo-ah", nor do they care about how having engineer tape trails will make for a "more efficient range."

3. Make sure your battalion commander can match your face to your name strip. And if he mispronounces your last name every time he is trapped in a hallway with you then consider yourself a success. If he can properly pronounce your last name then you are either a stud or an idiot. You are most likely the latter.

4. Graduation from OBC doesn't mean you understand how things work in reality. The Army isn't like calculus, there are no immutable laws.

5. When going out with your friends and acting like a 22 year old, don't do it at the same locations as your soldiers. The only mystique of a 2LT is that your soldiers assume you are void of personality and will rigidly adhere to any rule or guidance pushed by higher. Once they know of your tendencies to drink excessively and make out with strangers they will no longer fear your supposed anal retentiveness.

6. Action for the sake of action is the hallmark of a moron. The continuous consumption of oxygen will likely result in eventual promotion to CPT, therefore, don't waste your energy and other people's time by trying to make a name for yourself. By showing up, doing what is asked, and making a conscience effort to learn as much as possible from your E-6s you will succeed.